by Garda Ghista
World Prout Assembly
May 2002

Continued from Part Two

From Macro to Micro

In 1986 the great philosopher and economist, Prabhat Ranjan Sarkar, came up with the concept of economic democracy. He noted that in no country, does there exist an economic democracy. At certain times in history, economic democracy may have existed for a brief period without any conscious awareness and without any clear principles. Later Sarkar also gave a program for the economic liberation of women. What is proposed here is to apply Sarkar’s concepts of economic democracy to the micro-scale of the domestic household. The first requirement for economic democracy is that the minimum requirements at any given point in life must be guaranteed to all members of the family. Often one sees the husband buying frivolous items and the children being indulged while the wife does not have proper clothes or even proper education. What is required for every human being is food, shelter, clothing, education and medical care. So for example, to deny the wife medical treatment in her old age due to her self-sacrificing nature is heinous on the part of the husband. It is shameful! Economic democracy, if applied to the household, would make it 100 per cent immoral in the eyes of society, and such a husband would become a social outcaste for such conduct.

The second requirement for economic democracy is that increasing purchasing capacity (along with inflation) must be guaranteed to each individual. In other words, just as the husband is free to spend more when the economy is good, the wife and the children have equal right to take part in any such windfall. Furthermore, the wife has the right to become economically independent and involved in the economic life of her community, just as much as she has the right to be involved in the religious and social life of her community. Practically, this means the wife has the right to be involved in local cooperatives and other grassroots organizations, to get scope to develop herself and benefit the community.

The third requirement for economic democracy is that the power to make all economic decisions must be placed in the hands of the family members. It must be a joint decision instead of a unilateral one. Just as, on a global scale, countries make multilateral decisions to reach peace and not unilateral decisions. This means, in Sarkar’s own words, “Economic liberation is the birthright of every individual.” Thus the wife would be expected by society to take full part in the economic life of the family as well as the community. It should not be merely up to the whims of the husband.

The fourth requirement for economic democracy is that outsiders must be strictly prevented from interfering in the family economy. Often it happens, not just in regard to economics but with other issues also related to family life, that in-laws become tyrants over the wife. This is especially the case in third world countries – the leading example being India, where every few seconds another wife / daughter-in-law is doused with kerosene and burned alive by her mother-in-law and/or husband. Hence, it must be a social norm or more that no outside relative or friend should suppress the wife’s economic rights and indeed her rights in general.

Sarkar also says that fundamentally the best system in all spheres of life is the cooperative economic system. This applies not merely to the community but to the family as well. Let us look at Sarkar’s categories of economic systems. The first and worst category is the commune system. In this system, all individual enterprise and control over the economy is brutally smashed by those controlling the economy in the name of an ideology or religion. In religious societies, one sees women leading lives of economic slavery and abuse. It does not matter which religion is involved. The reason so much abuse and slavery is implemented is because the women slaves are told that everything is being done in the name of ideology or religion, which justifies the sacrifice and the abuse. Two hundred years ago in United States women were beaten up at will by their husbands, and often abandoned in the wilderness when no longer wanted.

The next system is the share-cropping system, where the wife has limited economic freedom in the form of an allowance but she still slaves away from morning until night and the profits always remain with the husband. It is remarkable that those men who suffered from the share-cropping system, be it in India today or the American south in the early 20th century treated their wives exactly as they were treated – as slaves. There are many husbands today who extract hundreds or thousands of hours of labor from their wives – doing the household labor, working for them as private secretaries – and the husbands give them nothing, or perhaps pittance in return. It is exploitation pure and simple.

The next economic system Sarkar talks about is private enterprise. This involves similar exploitation, but combined with this is very subtle brainwashing and propaganda to convince the wife that she is happy being a slave. This can be seen in the American workplace and also in the households of smooth-talking husbands. Basically, the husband manages the wife or keeps her engaged in his work by a system of cheap rewards, insincere praise / flattery and veiled threats if there is resistance. The end result is that as surveys show, even when the woman is earning more than the man, she still does 70 percent of the housework.

The final economic system is the cooperative system. According to Sarkar, this is the ideal system, because in this system the economy flourishes. Every member of the family / cooperative is encouraged to be an equal owner / manager, to express themselves on an equal footing. This allows creativity, enthusiasm and efficiency due to the close comraderie resulting from egalitarian relationships. Sarkar also proposes that such a cooperative system must be based on spiritual practice (meditation) in order to free oneself from individual limitations, propensities and prejudices. The expanded consciousness arising from regular meditation will enable human beings to overcome any latent abusive and exploitative tendencies, and this means the end to domestic abuse. Sarkar says clearly:

“In every field of collective life there should be cooperation among the members of society. Where this cooperation is between free human beings, each with equal rights and mutual respect for each other, it is called “coordinated cooperation”. Where people do something individual or collectively, but keep themselves under other people’s supervision, then it is called “subordinated cooperation”. In each and every stratum of life, we should do everything with coordinated cooperation and always avoid subordinated cooperation.”

This statement, if applied to husband and wife relationships, may bode for a happy and peaceful family life. Sarkar notes that there have been traditionally two defective reactions to abuse and exploitation. The first reaction is what he refers to as the Gandhian approach of making humanistic appeals and avoiding any real confrontation at all costs. If we relate this to family interactions, it means the wives idealistically believe that the exploiter / husband can be changed for the better by appealing to the good that is in him, ignoring the bad that is exploiting and abusing her. As Sarkar says, this sort of appeal does not hold much value for those with crude minds. To vibrate the minds of crude exploiters, it is and forever will remain necessary to influence their minds by giving them a rude shock. Just as the Gandhian movement in India died, so also such non-violent approaches and attempts by the wife inevitably die away as the abuse increases. Often this is not just because the husband is sadistic but simply because he is unable to comprehend what the wife is trying to do by appealing to his higher sentiments. In Solznetzyn’s Gulag Achipelago, there is a story of an unusually idealistic prisoner in Siberia who said he was going on a hunger strike in order to protest the way the prisoners were being treated. This was the first time such an unheard of event had ever happened in the prisons there. The jailer called him and asked him why he was trying to kill himself. The prisoner replied that justice and freedom were more important than his life. One week later the man was transferred to a psychiatric institute. On his way out of the prison, he met the jailer again. This time the jailer told him that he was being transferred because the prisoner was suspected of being a schizophrenic. This is an example to show how incomprehensible an idealistic well-meaning wife can be to a cruel, abusive husband. Sarkar expands on this point in the following quote which should be read by all such wives who are religiously devoted to supporting their husband’s exploitation and abuse.

“Doing good to others is virtue; doing harm to others is sin. In this world there is no shortage of wicked people who have an innate desire to commit atrocities and harm others. What should the virtuous people do? They should acquire virtue by doing good to others, to [the family], the society, to the country, and to the masses. Their actions should promote the socio-economic well-being of the people in a skilled way. This should be their main concern. Your good deeds may take [the family and the] society two steps forward, but if bad people are at work at the same time, they will take the society two steps backward and the resultant progress will be nil. Therefore, you must continue doing good to [the family and] the society, and at the same time you must fight against the bad people to prevent them from taking a single step forward. On the path of dharma (righteousness), one is not only to do noble deeds; one must also fight against the dishonest people – both are virtuous actions. There are many good people in the society – noble people engaged in noble deeds – who are not ready to fight against wrongs and injustices. This sort of passive benevolence does not really promote the cause of human progress in the world. What is desirable is to acquire virtue by doing noble deeds and fighting against all sins and crimes. Both are mandatory, both are an integral part of dharma (spirituality).”

The second defective approach is that of violence and robbing, such as in the case of Robin Hood and in the case of communism. Both of these approaches are innately inhuman because the violence stemming from vengeance is the most destructive force in human society. This has been seen in history time and again. The great poet Schiller wrote the play “Die Raubers” which showed how a man started out as an idealistic Robin Hood against oppression but how he gradually became corrupted by his own violence. Similarly, in the home, so many wives become violent and abusive in order to cope with the abuse being meted out to them by the husband. This causes a violent (physical or nonphysical) dysfunctional family in which the husband abuses the wife, the wife abuses the children, and the children abuse each other, their parents and their pets. As Sarkar says,

“Violence does not solve any problem, because whatever poisonous tendencies of the individual and collective minds may be destroyed by violence, the seeds of those tendencies remain embedded in the mind itself. When the pressure of circumstances is relaxed they may again sprout forth, creating even greater evil.”

So often one can see good people who believe that violence is the only alternative they have, and thus their family is destroyed in the process of using that violence. Such people who started out as good human beings become addicted to using violence as a way of living. Even friendly comments will be in the form of verbal violence. What this creates is a society in which the only real emotion is sadistic thrill of crushing someone physically or psychologically. We see this culture of celebrating violence against human beings and violence against the world in the form of explosions and catastrophes, in so many of the movies of our culture. There are many people who talk about ridding our society of this violent tendency. But it is impossible, because the families themselves are so rooted in abuse and violence. Hence the battle against violence in our society must begin within the family, in the battle against day-to-day, minute-to-minute violence. One can say that the entire family needs the 12-step program! Sarkar says,

“When people are not given an opportunity for civilized and orderly agitation, they take to the path of terrorism. They accept the path of guerilla warfare.”

There are other families that are not so violently abusive. Here the abuse is often psychological and emotional. Here also the wife retaliates in small acts of sabotage, sarcastic comments that show that she is not a doormat. What this does is to corrupt the innately noble and spiritual qualities of the wife, making her immersed in petty vindictiveness. At the end of one’s life, one realizes what a waste it has all been. This is why the path of guerilla warfare, of going down to the husband’s level, is sheer waste of one’s time on this earth. In the end, petty malice is as destructive a force psychologically as more overt kinds of abuse.

Conclusion

After leaving their abusive husbands, women discover that other men are not angry with them. With wonder they marvel that no one is angry with them. They may begin to live their lives free of anger. Women who have spent ten or twenty or even thirty years with abusive husbands by studying the literature on domestic violence can become free of torture – mental or physical – they do not have to suffer mental torture any longer. They can leave abusive situations and get mental peace. Aphrodite Matsakis, a psychologist specializing in post-traumatic stress disorder, describes the milestones these freed women will pass after leaving their abusers: There will be fewer nightmares, less fear, increasing self-confidence and increasingly greater skills in the game of survival. She will gradually no longer feel the helplessness of a victim but rather feel the strength of a survivor. She will begin to enjoy life more, with meaningful activities and sincere friends. She will learn to laugh again without fear. She will regain her spontaneity and ability to relax. If she has anger, she will channel it into righteous moral indignation that inspires her to help others. And finally, she will feel a kinship not only with all other battered women but with all people who are suffering. Donald Dutton continually emphasizes that one of the reasons for wife abuse is the continual humiliation of men in the work force and in society. This is why Sarkar says that economic freedom is in a way the foundation for the solution for all of society’s problems. Socio-economic freedom will give workers dignity and this will give the family members dignity likewise. As Sarkar says,

“Freedom is a right of every human being. To encourage comprehensive, unbarred human expression in the different sphere sof social life, a congenial socio-economic environment has to be created, because such an environment does not exist today.”

In Carol Adams’ book, Neither Man Nor Beast: Feminism and the Defense of Animals, she writes,

“Look at the way women have been treated. We’ve been completely controlled, raped, not given any credibility, not taken seriously. It’s the same thing with animals. We’ve completely mutilated them, domesticated them. Their cycles, their entire beings are conformed to humans’ needs. That’s what men have done to women and the earth.”

So we see that by expanding one’s consciousness to realize how one’s own suffering of not only women, but the suffering of all created beings on this earth, one no longer feels like an isolated woman living terrorized in a house. Rather, one feels surrounded by a whole family of relatives with whom one can empathize. Thus we can say, sufferings became a hidden blessing.

The continuing patriarchal social structure is a major cause of wife abuse. This structure dehumanizes women, making their value equal to zero, making them equal to chattel and domestic slaves. At least servants are paid for their labor and service. Slaves are not, and neither are wives and mothers. Continuing patriarchy teaches continuing oppression and suppression of women. It is only when these sexist attitudes are removed from the minds of men that women will truly be safe. It is a daunting task. As Dr. Mary Miller puts it, spouse abuse is simply,

“… a euphemism for skirting the truth that men abuse women. Until the police can admit wife abuse into their vocabulary and into their consciousness, they will continue to encourage it in their own lives and in the lives of … female citizens … whom they have a sworn duty to protect. The media might lead the way by also naming abuse for what it is.”

Dr. Miller states clearly that in fewer than five percent of domestic violence cases wives are the abusers, and many of those cases are in self-defense. She writes,

“The world glosses over the abuse of women with euphemisms like domestic violence and spouse abuse, which deny gender inequality. It’s not domestic violence, it is a man’s violence against a woman. It’s not spouse abuse; it is a husband’s abuse of his wife. It is inequality that traps women in abusive situations in the first place, and euphemisms not only permit society to avoid recognizing this as a uniquely female tragedy but also actually reinforce society’s apathy toward abused women by implying that men are equally abused. They are not. Social Work states unequivocally in its September 1991 issue, “Women and men are not equally victimized by their partners.” 95 percent of ‘spouse abuse’ is male against female.”

There are many women who divorce their husbands because their husbands are ‘cheating’ on them. There are many more women who remain married because their husbands are not cheating on them. However, a large percentage of those ‘faithful’ husbands are in fact abusive and give them much mental torture. Such men convince their wives that it was the wife who made them mad. Often these men are charming to the outside world - charming, educated, literate, humorous. In August, 2002 there was an article in a Texas newspaper with the headline, “Pastor Kills Wife and Himself”. So who would think when the pastor is preaching to his church congregation every Sunday that he is giving mental and finally physical torture to his wife? Nobody would have realized. His own wife probably did not realize, or she would have fled before being killed. This abuse, this violence in men always increases with time, it never decreases. That is why with the passing of time, the verbal violence escalates and often turns to physical violence, and the physical violence often turns to murder. It is all about power and control. The wife has to come to terms with all the hostility, the rage inside the husband. As one woman said to her therapist, “Now that it’s over, I realize that I liked to be near trees and plants because I felt safe with them. They didn’t hurt me.” She has to understand that his rage, his hostility has nothing to do with her; it has to do with him. She has to further face the fact that the hostility, the rage is a clear sign that he does not love her and perhaps never did love her. The tragedy is that the majority of people are ignorant about domestic violence. 95 percent of the violence is from husband to wife, not vice versa. It is a documented fact.90 But, people often will not believe the wife, even if they know her personally. Women need to be educated, and their daughters need to be educated right from their childhood, at home by their mothers and in their schools, by the educational system, that abuse is not to be tolerated; anger, yelling and shouting are not to be tolerated, mental torture is not to be tolerated, and that if in such a situation, they are to leave it as soon as possible - so that once again they can be made whole and can have the opportunity to develop themselves physically, intellectually and spiritually in a peaceful environment. This is the right of every woman. As per international law, in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, it states in Article 5 that “No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.” Further, Article 1 states that “All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.”

One may wonder, what is the use of writing still another paper or still another book on the subject of wife abuse. But, reading a book on the problem of wife abuse can save lives. In San Diego, California there is a special program that provides information about wife abuse to high school and university students, to the police, lawyers, judges and to anyone else interested to learn. As of 1997, the city’s homicide rate in domestic violence cases had dropped by 60 percent. This tells us, education saves lives. Reading books saves lives. Getting hold of the right information that will enlighten us and free us from fear, terror and mental torture can save our lives. Victims can recover, become strong, and begin new lives for themselves. They can use their tragedies, their intellect and wisdom to now help others to get free of their abusers. They can offer shelter to tortured victims. They can write to their legislators, senators, congressmen, governors and even the president and tell these representatives of the people that they must pass laws to protect women against batterers. If greater and greater numbers of people read, study and educate themselves on the issue of domestic violence, these people can become “the foundation for a grassroots transformation of the consciousness of America on domestic violence.” Finally, Prabhat Sarkar has declared the following:

“Humanity, standing as it does at the top of the evolutionary ladder, may sometimes feel proud and in a weak moment commit an act of meanness. Yet one should always remain vigilant against this. The evolutionary forces have not stopped. The theater of action has shifted to the psychic level. Evolution is now expressing its power in the daily struggle of men and women everywhere to attain dignity.”

Bibliography

1. Ananda Murti, Shrii Shrii, Ananda Marga Ideology and Way of Life, Part II, Ananda Marga Publications, Calcutta, 1990.

2. Ananda Murti, Shrii Shrii, Ananda Vacanamrtam, Part VIII, Ananda Marga Publications, 1987.

3. Anderson, Vera, A Woman Like You: The Face of Domestic Violence, Seal Press, Seattle, 1997.

4. Brown, Lou, Dubau, and McKeon: Stop Domestic Violence:An Action Plan for Saving Lives.St. Martin’s Griffin, New York, 1997.

5. Dutton, Donald, The Abusive Personality: Violence and Control in Intimate Relationships, The Guilford Press, 1998.

6. Dutton, Donald; Golant, Susan, The Batterer: A Psychological Profile, HarperCollins, 1997.

7. Dutton, Donald, The Domestic Assault on Women, UBC Printing, 1998.

8. Engel, Beverly, The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself, Fawcett Colombine Books, 1990.

9. Evans, Patricia, The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Adams Media Corporation, Holbrook, MA, 1996.

10. Fleming, Jennifer Baker. Stopping Wife Abuse: A Guide to the Emotional, Psychological and Legal Implications … for the Abused Woman and Those Helping Her. Anchor Books, New York, 1979.

11. Flitcraft, Anne H. and Stark, Evan, “Woman Battering, A Prevention-Oriented Approach”, The Physicians Assistant’s Guide to Health Promotion and Disease Prevention, Emory University School of Medicine, 1986.

12. Forward, Susan, Emotional Blackmail, HarperPerennial, 1997.

13. Fromm, Eric, The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness, Henry Holt, 1992.

14. Frye, Marilyn, The Politics of Reality, Crossing Press, 1983.

15. Harlow, Carole Wolf, “Female Victims of Violent Crime”, 1991, US Dept of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics,

16. Matsakis, Aphrodite, I Can’t Get Over It: A Handbook for Trauma Survivors, New Harbinger Publishers, 1996.

17. Miller, Alice, Hildegard Hannum, Hunter Hannum, The Untouched Key: Tracing Childhood Trauma in Creativity and Destructiveness, Anchor Books, 1990.

18. Miller, Mary, No Visible Wounds, Ballantine Books, 1995.

19. Mowatt, Farley, Never Cry Wolf, Bantam Books, 1985.

20. Sarkar, Prabhat Ranjan, The Awakening of Woman, Ananda Marga Publications, Calcutta, 1995.

21. Sarkar, Prabhat Ranjan, Human Society, Ananda Marga Publications, 1999.

22. Sarkar, Prabhat Ranjan, Proutist Economics, Ananda Marga Publications, 1992.

23. Sarkar, Prabhat Ranjan, Shabda Cayanika, Part I, Ananda Marga Publications, 1996.

24. Sarkar, Prabhat Ranjan, Thoughts of P.R. Sarkar, Ananda Marga Publications, 1981.

25. “Spousal Homicide Risk and Management”, Violence and Victims, Volume 8, No. 1, Spring 1993.

26. Walker, Lenore E., The Battered Woman, Harper & Row, New York, 1979.

27. Wallace, Harvey, Family Violence: Legal, Medical and Social Perspectives, 3rd ed. Allyn and Bacon, 2002.

28. Women’s Crisis Center, Handouts, Covington, Kentucky, 2001.

29. Wood, Julia T., Gendered Lives: Communication, Gender and Culture, Wadsworth Publishing co. 2000.

Internet Sources

30. Ghista, Garda, “The Status of Women in World Religions”, www.proutworld.org/features

31. NCADV – National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

32. http://www.ncadv.org/problem/what.htm

33. Ibid…problem/why.htm

34. Ibid … problems/predictors.html

35. The Commonwealth Fund, “First Comprehensive National Survey of American Women Finds Them at Significant Risk”, New York: July 14, 1993.

36. Safe Horizon. http://www.dvsheltertour.org/teen.html

37. Ibid… arttherapy.html

38. Ibid… welfare.html

39. Ibid … immigration.html

40. Ibid … police.html
_____________________
Garda Ghista is author of The Gujarat Genocide: A Case Study in Fundamentalist Cleansing, and President of the World Prout Asembly. She can be reached at editor@worldproutassembly.org.